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Stella Immanuel’s theories about the relationship between demons, illness and sex have a long history


President Donald Trump has a new favorite doctor. On July 27, the president and his son Donald Trump, Jr. tweeted a viral video featuring Dr. Stella Immanuel, in which the Houston pediatrician rejected the effectiveness of wearing face masks for preventing the spread of COVID-19 and promoted hydroxychloroquine to treat the disease.

Journalists quickly dug into Immanuel’s background and found that she’s also claimed that having sex with demons can cause illnesses like cysts and endometriosis.

These beliefs don’t come out of thin air, and she’s far from the only person who holds them.

As a scholar of biblical and apocryphal literature, I’ve researched and taught how these beliefs have deep roots in early Jewish and Christian stories – one reason they continue to persist today.

Hints of demons in the Bible

As in many religions, demons in Judaism and Christianity are often evil supernatural beings that torment people.

Although it’s difficult to find a lot of clarity about demons in the Hebrew Bible, many later interpreters have understood demons to be the explanation for the “evil spirit” that haunts King Saul in the first book of Samuel.

Another example appears in the book of Tobit. This work was composed between about 225 and 175 BCE and isn’t included in the Hebrew Bible or accepted by all Christians. But it is considered part of the Bible by religious groups like Roman Catholics, Orthodox Christians, Beta Israel and the Assyrian Church of the East.

Tobit includes a narrative about a young woman named Sarah. Although Sarah doesn’t suffer any physical affliction, Asmodeus, the demon of lust, kills every man betrothed to her because of his desire for her.

The Christian gospels are full of stories linking demons and illness, with Jesus and several of his early followers casting out demons who afflict their victims. In one of the most prominent stories told in the Gospel of Mark, Jesus encounters a man possessed by a group of demons who call themselves “Legion” and sends them into a nearby herd of pigs who stampede off a cliff.

Demon lore spreads far and wide

Demons pervade biblical apocrypha, which are stories about biblical subjects that were never included in the canonical Bible and include various associations between demons, illness and sex.

The early Christian text “Acts of Thomas” was likely composed in the third century and became hugely popular, as it was eventually translated into Greek, Arabic and Syriac. It tells the story of the apostle Thomas’ travels to India as an early Christian missionary. Along the way, he encounters a number of obstacles, including people who have been possessed by demons.

In the fifth act, a woman comes to him and pleads for help. She tells the apostle how, one day at the baths, she encountered an old man and talked to him out of pity. But when he propositioned her for sex, she refused and left. Later that night, the demon in the guise of an old man attacked her in her sleep and raped her. Although the woman attempted to escape the demon the next day, he continued to find her and rape her every night, tormenting the woman for five years. Thomas then exorcises the demon.

Astaroth rides a winged beast and clutches a snake.
A 19th-century drawing of Astaroth. Louis Breton

Another demon story is found in the “Martyrdom of Bartholomew,” which probably dates back to the sixth century. Bartholomew also travels to India, where he finds that the inhabitants of a city worship an idol named Astaroth who has promised to heal all of their illnesses. But Astaroth is actually a demon who causes afflictions that he then pretends to cure in order to gain more followers. Bartholomew reveals the farce and performs several miracles to prove his own spiritual prowess. After forcing the demon to confess to his deceit, Bartholomew drives him into the wilderness.

Apocrypha, like the “Acts of Thomas” and “Acts of Bartholomew,” were popular in the medieval period and even those who couldn’t read or write knew these stories. They also helped fuel the “witch craze” of the 16th and 17th centuries, in which zealous Christian leaders persecuted and killed thousands of people – mainly women – for their beliefs, often concocting claims that they consorted with demons.

Beliefs that persist today

It’s clear that Immanuel has profited from her beliefs in the supernatural, especially in right-wing and religious circles. She has over 9,000 followers on Facebook and over 94,000 on Twitter, with a dedicated platform as a pastor. In fact, she casts herself as a prophet and destroyer of demons.

It isn’t difficult to find other modern Christians who connect demons, sex and health issues. The conservative Christian magazine Charisma published a story claiming that sex with demons causes homosexuality. And researchers recently were able to show that belief in supernatural evil could predict negative attitudes toward abortion, homosexuality, premarital sex, extramarital sex and pornography.

Meanwhile, many evangelical Americans believe that Trump is God’s chosen one, who has been tasked with fighting actual demons. Trump’s personal minister, Paula White, is just one conservative figure known to espouse these views.

If anything, the coronavirus pandemic has shown how many on the religious right continue to rely on faith over science. Studies have already emerged showing how the tension between faith and science has influenced many conservative Christians to resist the use of masks and other public health responses to the pandemic.

With many conservative Christians sharing some of the same views about demons as Immanuel – and conservative Christians forming a core base of support for the president – Trump’s promotion of the doctor’s beliefs makes perfect sense.

He’s preaching to the choir.

The Conversation

Brandon W. Hawk does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.


Read the original article here — https://theconversation.com/stella-immanuels-theories-about-the-relationship-between-demons-illness-and-sex-have-a-long-history-143587

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So, You Want to Try Anal Sex… a Beginner’s Guide


So, the two of you have decided that you would like to try anal sex. As with trying anything new sexually – or just spicing up what you usually do – communication is the key, so talk about it, understand how you both feel about it. And I would suggest having that conversation when you aren’t about to rip one another’s clothes off, but when you can both focus on the discussion

Personally, I really enjoy anal sex as part of a rich sex life – so my ten top tips are below

I want to be honest with you – yes it can hurt a bit. But if you follow the advice below, the pain should be minimal, and the pleasure can be immense. Personally, I always feel a little pain when my partner enters me anally, but once he is fully in, I love the sensation and it all becomes pleasurable

1. Does it hurt?

I did a little survey among my Twitter followers, close to one hundred women who have tried anal sex responded with their opinion on whether it hurts when he first enters you:
• 26% said they don’t find it painful at all
• 52% (myself included) said they do find it quite painful, but it is worth it
• 10% said they find it painful and struggle to take it
• 12% said they find it too painful, so no thanks

2. You need trust

I find even more trust is required for such an intimate act. And it does feel very intimate which can increase the closeness between you. But I also need to trust that he will stop or pause whenever I need him to and that his key focus is on making this pleasurable for us both. Not just that he has seen a video of anal sex and wants to feel like a porn star

Also, trust includes remembering all the same STI precautions as you would normally

3. Ignore the porn

I think porn can be misleading at the best of times, but I think this is particularly so when it comes to anal sex

Without any foreplay, he gives one big thrust and his cock is fully in her welcoming bottom. Frankly, that would be more likely to have me screaming and running away. Which brings me to my second point…

4. Take it slow

This is really important – and sadly, I think some people are put off because they don’t take it slowly or spend long enough “warming up”

Slow for me means, he pushes the head of the cock against my rear opening and then pauses, gives me a moment to feel him there. I like it when he then pushes just the tip of his cock inside me and again pauses, allowing me to adjust to the sensation. Then again, a little more and pause, let me get used to the stretch – and so forth

Sometimes he can tell from my breathing that he has paused long enough, or if I push back a little, encouraging him to give me a little more. But we will also use that wonderful power of speech! He will ask me if I am okay, I will tell him when I am ready for more

5. Use some lube

Your bottom does not produce natural lubrication in the same way your pussy does, so you need to add some lube (I would suggest a good water-based one). A generous coating of lube on his cock and on your hole will help you both to enjoy the experience much more

With time, you may choose to use less lube. My partner loves the sensation when we don’t use any lube, he enjoys the tightness and the tug on his foreskin – and with experience you may choose to try these things. But to start off with lube, lube, lube and more lube

6. Enjoy some anal foreplay

As with any sex, there is a lot of fun to be had with the foreplay. Firstly, get the mood right, so you both feel aroused. It is also important that she feels relaxed – partly knowing that you will both stop if she isn’t enjoying it, but also entering her will be easier if her muscles relax

A sensual massage with particular attention on her buttocks is a good way to start

A well lubed finger or two can be wonderful stimulation but also help get her warmed up for what is to come

7. Anal toys

Toys are another good idea for foreplay. A small butt plug is a great beginner toy. All the same rules apply – take it slow, use lube – but it can be a great warm up for taking something bigger

Start with some foreplay and then I would recommend lying down on your front on the bed with a pillow under your hips, or on all fours if you prefer. Let him apply a generous amount of lube to you and the toy, and then very slowly and gradually push it inside you

Once it is inside, you may want to roll over onto your back and then the choice is up to the two of you. He might want to use his mouth to pleasure your clit or slide his cock inside your pussy. Either way, the plug inside you should add a wonderful extra dynamic

8. Clit play

On some occasions, I seem to be able to take him anally relatively easily, other times I struggle a bit more. Some clit play really helps when I am struggling. For me, the pleasure on my clit helps me balance any pain

Depending on the position, this could be his fingers playing with my clit or sometimes me using a clit vibe on myself as he enters me. I have been known to “accidentally” forget to remove the clit vibe and just continue enjoying the two wonderful sensations!

9. Is it messy?

I know this is a common concern and generally the answer is no. However, as a lover once said to me on an evening when the sheets were not pristine afterwards “If you play with fire, occasionally you will get burnt” – we both giggled and it stopped me feeling any embarrassment

I think that is the right atmosphere to create. But if you are worried about a little mess, put a towel down that you can clear away afterwards if need be

Alternatively, you can buy an anal douche from most sex toy suppliers and use this beforehand if you want to ensure you are pristine

10. Switching between holes

It is not recommended to switch back from anal sex to vaginal sex – even if everything looks perfectly clean. I heard a wonderful description of the vagina as a “delicate ecosystem” and you don’t want to introduce any unwelcome bacteria into that ecosystem. It can commonly cause urinary tract infections or more complex bacterial infections – all of which are not enjoyable

So, if you want to switch back, ensure he has a quick clean up and if you are using condoms, he pops on a clean one

I hope these tips help you in trying anal sex – following them should help to make it a fun and satisfying experience for you both

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How to Rescue Your Dating Life in Your Late 20s


Looking for a restart or a jump start in your dating life in your later twenties due to a long term relationship break up or purely ignoring this aspect of your life for career pursuits? It’s a common problem. Hence, the question is, how can you be more attractive to women in your late 20s?

If you’re in your teens or early twenties, many commonly made mistakes in your dating life is forgivable. However, you’ll need to have certain things straightened out in your late 20s.

There are no excuses.

Fundamental Grooming

Imagine going on a date with a woman in your late twenties and looking like a slob. You’re not even getting past the first date. Or you might not even land one in the first place.

I assume you have some form of income or savings by your 20s. If you haven’t learned to groom yourself, you’ll need to invest in that aspect of your life. There’s no excuse.

Impressions make a huge difference not just with the art of attracting women, but in one’s professional career.

Secondly, if you are still walking and standing with a slouch. You need an emergency fix. Old habits die hard. Like grooming, you’re forgivable if are slouching your early twenties. However, if you do not have a spine by the time you reach your late twenties. There’s not much to be forgiven.

Be of Status

So how can you be of status? It’s common to hear the word status thrown around in the dating advice industry.

There are two kinds of status. The first one consists of external displays of wealth and power. The second one is behavioral.

If you were an average human being without family wealth that went to University and graduated on your 20s. It’s highly unlikely you are going to accumulate fuck you money by your late twenties.

Secondly, it’s easy to get side tracked and lose purpose in your late twenties. The responsibilities of being a functional adult piles up. You may have a career or long hours at the office.

You’re no longer idealistic about setting up a rock band and staying up all night dreaming about making it big in the music industry. You may have resigned your life to be one that’s working for a job you secretly hate.

However, as David Deida mentioned, having a purpose is attractive to the opposite sex. You can allocate your time to your side hustles or creative project. That way, you’ll stand out from a crowded sea of other faces. Its time to invest that extra money you accumulated in rediscovering something in yourself.

Learn To How to Attract Women (for real)

Yes, you can learn how to attract women. You CAN alter your behavior. I took the scientific approach to this area of my life, and you can too.

Much of my focus is on Asian men. It’s not uncommon for Asian men (especially Singaporean men) to have spent their teens and early to mid-twenties have focused on academia and their careers at the cost of their emotional development.

They haven’t built up anything on the social skills side and completely lack social intelligence.

The idea of going up to an attractive stranger scares them, much less approach a woman in broad daylight.

It’s no surprise that some men in some cultures barely understand basic dynamics of flirting such as touching a woman without creeping her out, making a woman laugh, or even simple skills such as how to make her laugh.

They only treat dating as a skillset seriously after a failed long term relationship or marriage. They either broke off with their long term partner they met in their teens/early twenties or found out the relationship wasn’t to be after marrying each other.

Unfortunately, dating and relationships do require conscious work. Yes, they didn’t tell you in school, they do.

Conclusion

You may have ignored the greater part of your dating life in your 20s in the name of academic achievements and career progress. However, there’s no need to fret. There’s still hope. Males generally do not face the issue of a biological clock. Now that you’re an older man with an income, dating may be easier for you (despite your complete lack of social equity of understanding if she wants you to make a move).

Finally, if you’re going to sit on laurels and waste your 20s away. Then there’s no one to blame if you find yourself still in a ditch in your 30s.

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Posted by Marcus

Marcus Neo publishes practical dating advice based on psychological research at MarcusNeo.Com

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How to Spice Sex up After Marriage


Getting married is always a huge step and can bring so much change. Some couples live together for the first time, figure out how they want to handle their finances, or even decide if they wish to have kids. But one part of relationships that some couples are not prepared for is how sex can change after the wedding.

How profound is that change in a couple’s sex drive after marriage? Superdrug Online Doctor asked more than 1,000 Americans and Europeans in a new study to learn about sex inside a marriage. They discovered the most successful ways couples communicate and reach sexual satisfaction – even later into their marriage. The findings were also reviewed by a licensed sex therapist to see what might drive some of these behaviors. Here are some of the results.

Married Sex Life

So how often were the married couples doing the deed according to the survey? Approximately 65.5% of respondents reported having sex at least once a week. Nearly 1 in 4 (23.6%) people admitted to engaging in sex at least once a month, while a modest 10.9% revealed they did it less than once a month.

The length of time the couples were in their marriage made a difference as well. Three in four people married for five years or less reported knocking boots at least once a week, but that number dropped significantly after 16 or more years. Only 56% of people in that relationship stage admitted having sex once a week. Moreover, as relationships went on, couples were more likely to transition from once a week to once a month.

On average, the longest couples went without having sex was six weeks. One in five respondents said they went without sex for three months or longer. Since getting married, more than half (52.3%) of survey participants reported less frequent romps. Only 20.9% said they had more sex.

Sexual Excitement After the Vows

Did the urge to get between the sheets with their partner change after the rings were on their fingers? About half (51.9%) of people said their needs were about the same as before the wedding. More than 1 in 4 said that sex got more boring. Only 17.4% of respondents revealed that their sex life got more exciting after the saying, “I do.”

The study revealed some of the top ways couples increased sexual excitement. First on the list was experimenting more (67%), followed by using different positions (63.1%) and being spontaneous (42.6%). One in three people said they incorporated sex toys in the bedroom. Others watched porn together (14.8%) or visited a sex therapist (8.5%).

But what were some reasons people slowed their sex frequency? More than half (57.8%) said they had a lower sex drive. Approximately 42% said they didn’t have the time. Almost the same percentage (41.4%) claimed to have more stress. Nearly 2 in 5 say their children are why they haven’t been rolling around in the sack. And 17.7% had developed lower self-esteem since becoming married.

According to the study, about 65% of respondents experience significantly decreased sex frequency at some point in their marriage. Men were more likely to cite a lower sex drive as a reason for not wanting to have sex. On average, it took four years of marriage for couples to have a decrease in sex frequency. Couples fixed this potential issue by talking to their partner (50.6%), doing nothing (36.3%), or researching ways to improve their sex lives (20.6%).

Keeping the Spark Alive

Respondents who discussed sexual satisfaction with their spouse at least once a week were most likely to be sexually satisfied. Some ways couples tried to keep their sex life interesting was by flirting with their spouse (33.9%), going on romantic getaways (28.1%), and using sex toys or accessories (26%).

The biggest takeaway from the study came in the form of advice from these couples on how to keep sex interesting throughout a marriage. What was the best advice respondents gave? Almost 2 in 5 respondents said being honest about feelings toward their sex life was most important. About 15% of people emphasized explaining your sexual needs. The third tip was to frequently talk about sexual satisfaction (10.9%). These popular pieces of advice shared a commonality: communication.

Every relationship is different and requires specific needs, but it seems as if communication is key to keeping a couple’s sex life alive when married. Whether you want to try something new or revert to some oldie but goodie positions, talking to your partner can be the best thing for your relationship.

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How to Get Over Your Ex: Five Tips to Help You Move On


how to get over your ex
Are you wondering just how to get over your ex?  Perhaps you are feeling lots of pain, loneliness and longing, a sense of emptiness that is hard to shake.  Maybe you are obsessing about what happened, how you were hurt or what you should have said or done to keep your partner or spouse with you.
You may even be attacking yourself, and feeling “I’m such a screw-up” or “I’m damaged and will never get over this divorce.”  Or feeling depressed and hopeless, with thoughts like, “I’m not a good person, I don’t deserve love!”  You may be harboring resentments, anger or rage.  And having thoughts like, “He should have stepped up!”  “He is an a-hole to cheat on me—he doesn’t know what he had!”

But at times, underneath it all you may still love your ex and long to have him or her back. No matter what he or she did, whether it is cheating, abuse, abandonment or neglect. Which feels strange or illogical, but may be true nevertheless.

No worries.  All these responses are quite normal after a breakup or a divorce. We are wired to be strongly attached at a biological, emotional and spiritual level to our partners.  Especially when marriage is involved.

So, part of you may be holding on, while the rest of you knows that you need to move on and get over your ex.  And you have a strong intuition that once you can let go of your ex you will be a whole lot happier.  Which is very true!

Here are five tips to move on when you are needing and wanting to know how to get over your ex:

How to Get Over Your Ex Tip 1: Get BUSY!

Take out your calendar and fill it up with activities (virtual or real!). Watching movies with friends , shopping, online or off-line,  exercising (great for generating feel-good endorphins!),  watching  videos  on Youtube  on topics that used to be of interest to you (I know they do not seem that interesting right now!),  doing yoga or  meditation, or participating in other professional or social groups.  You want to take your most precious asset—your attention– off of your ex.

How to Get Over Your Ex Tip 2:  Use the Spiritual Solution

The most healing place to put your attention is on spiritual or religious activities, prayers or meditations.  Spiritual salve is the most healing salve of all, which has been attested to for thousands of years.  So take walks in nature, listen to spiritual or uplifting music, attend religious services if you are a member of a church or synagogue.  Use a mindfulness practice or dust off your old mantra and use it for meditation.  If you are a member of a 12-step group attend more 12 step meetings. Or use my guided meditation below. You will feel much, much better.

RELATED POST: LOVING MOTHER MEDITATION

How to Get Over Your Ex Tip 3:   Growing is the best revenge!

Work on yourself.  Show yourself what your ex is missing!  This will help you feel free of that old relationship. Give yourself a nickname that speaks to the best you, the you that you highly approve of.   I call this your Diamond Self identity.  You can use words like triumphant, phoenix, resilient, strong, undaunted or better-than-ever, in your nickname. You can also add words that speak to your new future. So, for example, your new nickname could be Triumphant Goddess of Light and Love, or Phoenix-Rising Angel of Beauty and Freedom.

You get the idea!  It is very powerful to play with this.  Once you get your Diamond Self identity, you can use it to help you feel even better about yourself! Get a makeover in line with your nickname. Write it down and keep it near your computer, on your mirror and in other places where you can see it every day.

How to Get Over Your Ex Tip 4:  Get out there and Date

Force yourself to get online or on an app and date.  Even if you really don’t want to.  Even if nobody measures up to your ex.  Also ask your friends for support and help with this.  They can set you up with a single friend or sit at the computer and help you look online.  Once you get some nibbles from other guys, things will feel very differently in terms of your feelings for your ex.

How to Get Over Your Ex Tip  5:  Get that it’s not over ‘til it’s over

When you work on coming alive through new interests, spiritual and personal growth and work on your Diamond Self identity you will create a whole new life for yourself that juices you up.  Which means, while there are no guarantees, you are optimizing the chances that you can get your ex back and create a relationship with him that is better than ever.

For example, Susan, a lovely blue-eyed nurse, came into our coaching program after losing her boyfriend.  After dating Josh, a doctor at her hospital  for a year, he had suddenly announced that he wanted to date other women. Susan did all the work we have described in this article. She worked closely with her coach and created the Diamond Self name Irresistible Triumphant Angel of Love. Susan gave herself a makeover and dated several other guys.

A few months after the breakup, she was doing much better. So she decided to meet Josh for coffee. At that little date, he truly realized what he lost. He asked to get back together, but Susan, in her new empowerment, said she would have to be engaged to him in order to consider it. He said yes and the rest is history.  Susan and Josh are now very happily married!

This kind of outcome doesn’t always happen, but it can.

RELATED POST: WHEN & HOW TO GET BACK WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND

So there are 5 tips for how to get over your ex.  Always remember, you deserve lasting passionate love with someone who is crazy about you!  If you want to discuss your unique situation with your ex, have a powerful, free Breakthrough-to-Love session by phone, Skype or Zoom.

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Listen with Your Heart—10 Tips for Couple Communication


Couple communication is a subtle art with a lot of dos and don’ts. No one ever really explains the dynamics of maintaining effective communication between couples, but this article will give you ten tips to smooth things out with your partner.

Apart from physical attraction and the magic pixie dust of fate, communication is a major part of what brings people together in friendships, relationships, and marriage. No wonder, then, that communication is the golden key for couples who want to enrich and sustain their relationship.

Still, you’ve got to wonder: isn’t it funny that no one really tells you how to communicate? Here’s a secret: it may not be easy, but it’s not exactly rocket science either. Here are ten tips for couple relationship communication and conflict resolution.

1. Just Listen: Don’t Judge, Don’t Advise, Don’t Discount

When your significant other is talking, listen. Listening is probably the most important part of communication, especially if you are a man. Don’t interrupt the conversation by offering advice that has not been requested. You end up looking judgmental and condescending.

The art of listening involves a lot of empathy and patience. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to understand their situation. If you don’t understand, ask them to repeat or clarify.

2. Say What You Want From Your Partner

Your significant other can’t read your mind unless you express yourself clearly and directly. If you want more help with the chores, be open about it. If you want your partner to contribute more to your finances, say it.

Also, before you start talking, say if you are looking for advice or are just venting. Don’t leave people guessing, which creates unnecessary stress and tension.

If it is something that you feel is sensitive, it might be okay to involve trusted friends and family. However, be very careful with this option as it is easily misconstrued for overstepping and lead to mistrust. Try using a best friend, parents, or siblings for a start.

3. Think Before You Speak

Communication is meant to be a conscious process. Don’t be the kind of person who opens their mouth every time they feel that they have something to say. In the military, they teach you that every conversation should have an objective. Unless you’re making small talk, make your conversations thoughtful and objective to avoid hurting your partner inadvertently.

4. Be Sincere and Truthful

Agree from the word go to always be open and truthful with your partner. This builds trust and creates an environment where each party is free to communicate their feelings and needs without needing to justify themselves.

However, there is a limit to this sincerity in a couple of communication problems. If you suspect your partner is doing something like cheating but have no evidence, don’t say it. Get concrete evidence before confronting them, because if you say it and it happens to be false, you will push them away for good.

5. Respect Each Other’s Opinion

A lot of couple communication articles encourage diplomacy in a relationship, which means respecting each other’s opinions and agreeing to differ when the situation calls for it. Relationship experts do it by recognizing that a couple is composed of three entities: the two individuals and their relationship.

That means that you always have to think of the ‘I,’ ‘You,’ and ‘We’ to help clarify your goals and improve couple communication. However, sometimes love is gone for good, and no amount of communication will resuscitate it. When it’s time to find new love, visit DatingMentor.org for best rated dating sites and start your search for true love.

6. Make a Conscious Effort to Keep Communication Alive

Couple and family communication tend to fizzle out when it left to its own means. Work, school, kids, friends, hobbies, and other distractions will eat into it unless every party makes a conscious decision to keep communication alive.

Set aside times for talking, even when you have no specific agenda. It allows everyone to start speaking their minds. However, it would help if you always chose the right place to initiate conversations.

7. Always Clarify and Avoid Assumptions

Assumptions are a sure way to kill any conversations. Don’t jump ahead of your partner by having preconceived conclusions before they are actually spoken. If you have any doubts or questions, have them clarified right there and then. The successful conveyance of meaning is the only way to have an effective couple’s communication.

8. Ask After Their Welfare

One early trend in a couple’s lack of communication is disinterest in daily welfare. Simple things like ‘how were your day’ or how did the meeting go’ are crucial if you care about your partner and want to keep communication alive.

Be open when asking such questions to give them a chance to share. If you ask, ‘did your meeting go well?’ chances are that you will get answered with a simple yes or no statement. However, an open-ended question gives more room for sharing.

9. Learn to Read Their Non-Verbal Cues

In his book ‘Silent Messages,’ Professor Mehrabian showed that at least 55% of meaning is conveyed through non-verbal cues. Facial expressions, gestures, inferred meaning, emotions, among others, carry much of the weight in meaning. So much for direct and clear communication.

Learn to read your partner. What signs show their frustration? What says they’re angry? Part of being a successful couple is being tuned to each other’s body language to understand them better.

10. Don’t Read More Than Is Proffered

On the same note, don’t be an annoying mind reader. No one likes to be probed and analyzed like a specimen. If they asked about your day, answer, and leave it at that. Why do you need to know why they asked about your day?

As a couple, you need to learn not to investigate each other’s every motive and trust that they mean your good. If you can’t trust your significant other, there is little reason to be together in the first place.

Conclusion

Any relationship needs effective communication to remain successful. Whether it’s between you and your parents, friends, a boss at work, or couple communication, embracing these tips will help you deal with people better.

What do you wish that those close to you knew about you? Let us know in the comments below.

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It’s not you, it’s your grammar: Poor grammar ranks as top dating turn off


Talk Nerdy to Me

Dating can be difficult, and while dressing nice and picking fun activities can help people get dates, there is one particular skill that can make or break your online dating life. This skill is so important that people might not even realize it’s why they aren’t getting dates or keeping a relationship. That skill is using proper grammar and spelling.

When people see poor grammar and spelling, whether in a text or on an online dating profile, it can make people seem less datable. How does lousy grammar and spelling affect dating? In a new study, Word Tips asked more than 1,000 people who had actively dated in the past year about the writing habits of prospective dates. Not only did they frequently find grammar and spelling errors, but they also saw other messaging mistakes that people may not have considered. Here are some of the results.

First Impressions
So, how important are grammar and spelling when dating? According to the study, 71% of people surveyed stated that a person’s spelling and grammar in texts directly correlated to their intelligence. Only 11% disagreed with this statement. Nearly 7 in 10 people (69%) judged romantic interests on their spelling and grammar in texts.

Women (78%) were sixteen percentage points more likely to judge people based on this skill than men (62%). When asked if poor spelling and grammar were a deal-breaker when dating, 68% of respondents said that it was not, compared to the nearly 1 in 3 that said it was. Women were two times more likely than men to call off a relationship if the person they were dating had poor spelling and grammar.

When someone is considered attractive, did it matter to survey participants if they had poor writing skills? Almost half (45%) of women said they wouldn’t be interested in someone with lacking skills, but only 24% of men said the same. More than 1 in 3 respondents admitted to cutting ties with a romantic interest because they continually made writing errors in their messages. Women were two times more likely to do this than men.

Spell and You Shall Receive
Almost half (47%) of people in the study revealed that proper spelling and grammar were more attractive than receiving gifts. Women were seven percentage points more likely to feel this way. More than 4 in 10 respondents (43%) said excellent writing skills were preferable to insisting on paying for a date. Men (47%) felt more strongly about this aspect than women (39%).

Nearly 3 in 10 daters said writing well was more attractive than receiving compliments. More than 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men felt this way.

But when people are looking at someone’s online dating profile, what are some of the biggest turnoffs? For men, the top three things that will make them swipe left on a profile are overly edited photos (51%), poor spelling and grammar (39%), and immaturity (39%). Poor spelling and grammar (51%), overconfidence or cockiness (45%), and immaturity (38%) were the biggest turnoffs for women.

Most Unattractive Mistakes
Many mistakes can occur when writing, but some were more off-putting than others to survey respondents. The study showed the most unattractive mistake a potential suitor could make was to consistently send messages too difficult to understand (74%). The next three unattractive categories consisted of people being frustrated with romantic partners misusing forms of words, such as to, two, and too. Half of the people surveyed were frustrated with misspelled words.

Women were more frustrated with grammatical and spelling errors than men in all categories, but the most significant difference was when the words there, their, and they’re were concerned. Female (70%) respondents were seventeen percentage points more likely to be frustrated by this error than their male counterparts (53%). The writing error that both genders felt the most similarly about was run-on sentences.

Intelligent Vocabulary Is Key
More than 3 in 4 people found a high-level vocabulary attractive. Women were, again, more likely to feel this way than men. Only 9% of respondents felt this was unattractive, and 15% felt indifferent about it.

Those using high-level vocabulary on their dating profiles were almost two times more likely to have gone on five or more dates in the past six months compared to those who did not. However, those who used advanced vocabulary when private messaging were ghosted more frequently.

The most significant takeaway from this study was that people with better spelling and grammar skills were more likely to go on dates more often. If someone is scrolling through dating profiles, errors could make an individual less apt to give someone a second thought. So it might be best to take a second look at your profile if you aren’t getting many dates. There could be an easy fix to your problem: editing.

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6 Useful Tips for Using Dating Sites

Dating sites are an extremely popular way to get connected with like-minded individuals that have the same interests. However, many people will feel quite nervous when it comes to trying to use this type of site. Let’s take a look at a few of the most effective ways to stay safe on the preferred dating sites:

Personal information

A simple rule that must always be followed is the need to stay safe and to be careful with the amount of personal information you give out during the initial conversations. It is best to avoid giving out personal details until a few in-person meetings have taken place. You can slowly start to give out more information when you feel comfortable.

Conversation

The initial conversations should relate to regular things, such as what you get up to in your day-to-day life. Try to find things that interest both parties and expand your conversations from there. The ability to stay flexible in your topics will help to increase the likelihood of finding a successful match. Also, it is important to get involved in conversations when they start and not to be overly shy. Additionally, there are many different ways to get involved with a website and its users, such as sharing likes and dislikes.

Profile

Every user needs to complete their profile thoroughly. This will help to find other members that have a particular interest in your lifestyle. A poorly completely profile often comes across as not serious or fake and unlikely to attract the desired attention.

Website

Make sure to invest a little time to shortlist the most promising dating websites that match your particular interests. There are dating sites to match literally every interest, so you shouldn’t have too much difficulty finding something that suits your needs. Also, there are plenty of review and comparison sites that can help to identify the best options.

Activity

There is a high chance that you will need to send plenty of messages before you start to get worthwhile replies that may be worth taking further. Plus, it is important to be patient and avoid sending multiple messages to other members that interest you.

Block Button

Apart from withholding personal information, there are also other ways to stay safe and avoid contact with those you don’t feel comfortable with. Most of the dating sites include a block button that will instantly stop a conversation with someone you deem to be rude, aggressive or inappropriate.

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Should You Try Online Dating?

I know you may be wondering should you try online dating. If your interested in trying a different kind of dating then it might be right for you. There are hundreds of dating sites out there for you to try. Sometimes the best places to meet new people are social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook.

It is great if you don’t have a lot of free time or you work an odd schedule. You can send messages to lots of different girls online at one time. This is great because you can just set a little time aside everyday to send and respond to messages. It’s also great because you have the chance to get to know a girl online before you meet her. By the time you meet up her you will already be comfortable with her and you will be able to escalate things a lot faster.

If you’re still wondering should you try online dating then think about if you’re the type of guy that like to go to clubs and pick up girls. If bars and clubs and not your favorite places to go to pick up girls then you should try it. Sometimes you don’t feel like going out or just don’t like bars or clubs. You don’t have to leave your house when your surfing the web. You can even do it in your boxers if you want.

There are some bad parts of online dating of course like fake profiles and girls putting up fake, edited or old pictures. There are some fakes world but the good news is once you’ve been doing it for awhile you will easily be able to spot fake profiles. Look through all of the pictures, comments and bio. Should you try online dating? Now you know all the facts you can get out and start dating women online.

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The Relationship Between Moral Standards and Online Dating

Morality is a big issue in our lives and it actually define who we are according to social standards. It is a matter of what is wrong and what is right. Moral standards and online dating has been an issue for so long. Online dating has several stereotypes surrounding it. Public opinion matters less but what what really influences our decision in joining online dating is self evaluation and gauging whether it is immoral or moral. According to philosophy there are several definitions and they vary with individuals. People have different life styles and so what you may think is right is completely wrong in the eyes of someone else. Virtual ethics dictate that an act is viewed as morally good if it contributes to general happiness in the society.

Individual moral standards should be set while putting into consideration two main schools of thought regarding motivation and the result of the act. Different people have different beliefs concerning moral standards and online dating. For instance some people believe that homosexuality is immoral but to some people it is actually very moral. The experiences in our lives as individuals contribute a lot towards setting moral standards. Every single person has different life experiences and hence the different point of views. According to a recent research, moral standards have greatly changed. People find no problem in using imperfect knowledge to gain economically. As we all know religion plays a major role in setting the moral standards. With changes in the church we have even seen gay Bishops been acknowledged.

Our moral standards and online dating have confused some people. The standards are set out by peers, the laws of the time, education system and the media. In this time and age everything has been automated by the use of computers. The technology has made everything easier with dating included. Single men and women are convinced that it is right to go on with online dating because it does not define morality of an individual and i could not agree more. If you belong to the old school of thought, you will see online dating as a waste of time, a reflection of desperation and immorality of the highest order. Just like ordinary dating, you choose what to do and what to talk about online. Due to the anonymity featured on online dating, people might choose to talk dirty and entertain obscenity but it can also happen in a face to face date.

The issue of moral standards and online dating lies in the idea of etiquette. The online dating members can choose to be law abiding, patient and polite despite their state of anonymity. The new phenomenon of online dating is a reflection of changing moral values. It is actually an entrepreneurial venture operating on the basis of social environment that have some business elements. Sex dating sites are examples of aspect of immorality in online dating. The sex sites still have their rules and regulation which manage morality. For example they have age restrictions. If you are under 18 years of age you are not supposed to visit the sites.